This One Is A Vent

3 min read

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Poke-Poet4's avatar
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I tried walking outside my room, you know, just to see that I'm not really all alone here. My mom asked what was wrong. I just told her something. I forgot what, but it was nothing that really mattered. I just don't know, it's a blur now. But when I returned to my room, feeling like I didn't really feel better or worse, I looked around. That's when I realized something that made me start crying immediately after thinking it. I have a lot of posters in my room. Mostly anime-related. Many girls, no surprise there. But the thought that got me crying upon seeing this was: "So many faces, people I know a bit about, all of them looking at me, most of them smiling. Perhaps it's all just a subconscious thing to make me feel like I'm not so alone after all....because I don't have any real people around me that would smile at the sight of me. So many people, none of them able to talk back if I were to start a conversation. Just a pathetic facade made to make me feel like I'm surrounded by people who care......." Just typing this is making me cry again. I just want to let it all out. Even though this won't be noticed or cared about. Even if it is commented on, it will be a while before I get the comment. It just makes me feel so hopeless. Hopelessly lonely. No one cares, and I'm only typing this to myself, as if I were having a conversation with one of the many smiling faces I surround myself with. I'm so pathetic. A nobody, no friends, no job, no money, no girlfriend, no college work, no car(even though I don't really want to learn to drive), no life. Nothing but me, here alone, day after day, at this computer, in this room, with so many faces smiling. But almost never my own face being one of them..... My room is cold. Always so cold. I hate the cold. Yet I'm in here by myself so much of every day. My hands are cold, my face is stained with tears, and all I can think is that there is a phrase perfectly suited to how I feel: Cold and alone. :(
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LeonX300's avatar
...Why am I always so freaking late when my friends need support...

*Ahem* Anyway, I hope you know we're here for you. :)